Trust not trustworthy

According to Illinois Funeral Director and blogger R. Brian Burkhardt, the author of Rest in Peace: an Insider's Look at the Low Cost Less Stress Funeral, the Illinois Funeral Directors Association (IFDA) has mismanaged 40 million dollars in preneed trust funds. See his blog posting at yourfuneralguy.wordpress.com

Apparently the money did not get stolen, as raiding preneed trust funds is not new to the prepaid funeral industry, (for example see starbulletin.com/2004/06/19/news/story6.html), but was merely mismanaged into a deficit. Forty million dollars would cover a lot of funerals. And what happens to all the people who place their money in a "trust" if the til runs dry? They or their families have to pay again.

Prepaid funerals are not a good idea.  Now, if you have your heart set on a nice scenic cemetery plot next to your spouse's, you can purchase that piece of land knowing it isn't going to disappear or be withdrawn, or shrink in size and service.   Please determine how much the funeral you want is going to cost, then open a pay on death account at a bank called a Totten Trust. This will insure that your money will not be lost or stolen, and the interest should accrue and cover any increase in prices.

Did anybody think to bring a shovel?

There is a website called Mamasource.com where parents can make posts and ask questions related to parenting, and other parents respond.  The questions and answers are all pretty interesting, and I think the site is a good resource.  Recently there was a post that asked if it was appropriate to bring young children to funerals.  Although I didn't read every response, I was impressed with the thoughtful words of support for including children in the process.  Many, many people affirmed that death is a part of life and that children should not be sheltered from the reality.  Several people described situations where children actually helped alleviate the sadness.  One person lamented that they did not go to their grandfather's funeral when they were six, and had always regretted being left out of saying goodbye.  Of course, this is a personal decision, and if an infant might distract or a toddler might disrupt, then perhaps a babysitter should be considered.  But all in all, if the child knew the deceased or was close to the deceased the overwhelming response was, yes, absolutely, include them.

This reminds me of a story my mother likes to tell about my grandfather's funeral, which took place before I was born.  After the church services the family members entered limousines to take to the cemetery.  During the drive, my older brother, who I believe was about six at the time, asked in all earnestness, "Did anyone think to bring a shovel?"  Well, apparently this practical and sincere comment made everybody laugh.  In fact, it relieved so much tension, that the group had a hard time stopping the laughter as the limousine arrived at the cemetery.  The driver had to wait until the laughing jags were completely over before opening the door to let everybody out.