There is a website called Mamasource.com where parents can make posts and ask questions related to parenting, and other parents respond. The questions and answers are all pretty interesting, and I think the site is a good resource. Recently there was a post that asked if it was appropriate to bring young children to funerals. Although I didn't read every response, I was impressed with the thoughtful words of support for including children in the process. Many, many people affirmed that death is a part of life and that children should not be sheltered from the reality. Several people described situations where children actually helped alleviate the sadness. One person lamented that they did not go to their grandfather's funeral when they were six, and had always regretted being left out of saying goodbye. Of course, this is a personal decision, and if an infant might distract or a toddler might disrupt, then perhaps a babysitter should be considered. But all in all, if the child knew the deceased or was close to the deceased the overwhelming response was, yes, absolutely, include them.
This reminds me of a story my mother likes to tell about my grandfather's funeral, which took place before I was born. After the church services the family members entered limousines to take to the cemetery. During the drive, my older brother, who I believe was about six at the time, asked in all earnestness, "Did anyone think to bring a shovel?" Well, apparently this practical and sincere comment made everybody laugh. In fact, it relieved so much tension, that the group had a hard time stopping the laughter as the limousine arrived at the cemetery. The driver had to wait until the laughing jags were completely over before opening the door to let everybody out.
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